moving on

It is not easy if one relationship is broken or ended. Whatever the reason behind it-- whether you like it or not, the break up is still painful and it makes your whole world upside down. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of a divorce or breakup, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.

Why do break up hurts so much. Maybe because it is not only the relationship is ended but also the dreams and future plans you planned together. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief.

Break up brings uncertaintly in your life. When you are in a relationship everything is fine. You planned your future together, you become friend with his/her friends and meet the family and you become yourself when with him/her. But everything will be ruined when you both decided to let go each other. Everything is disrupted: your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity. And you begin to ask yourself "What will be my life without my partner?". Loving a person is a happy feeling but loosing one is so painful. As what popoy said to basha "mahal na mahal kita kahit ang sakit sakit na".

Moving on is not that easy. Recovering from it is difficult. However, it is important to keep in mind that you can do it and you must do it. It will take time to move on and it takes time so be patient.

Coping with separation and divorce

• Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.
• Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
• Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships, and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.

Source: Mental Health America